Blogging about the helper’s high and risking sounding like a pretensious, “look at me” person, much less clincian, took some thinking. After a super mini teeny ego crisis, authenticity always wins in my book so here, we are.
Like so many clients I’ve spoken to, early in my childhood my family was low income and while this changed for me, it helped foster some sort of accurate worldview between the haves and have nots. My daughter will not have this lived experience. Because her grandmother worked so hard to lift our family into a higher income bracket, and her mother (moi) so hard after plus opportunity, etc etc, my daughter won’t know poverty as long as I can help it.
How do I teach her? I know this is another super common ethical struggle. I know there’s never a right answer, nor a guarantee. I super strongly believe that so much of this answer is in day-to-day pockets of respect for all our community members. However, traditions are meaningful and impactful on children’s development, so I’ve decided that we will pick two organizations yearly and give. This year, Aya and I will give to the Preble Street Teen Shelter (donate to Preble Street here) and Gosnell Memorial Hospice House (donate to local hospice here or become a hospice volunteer here).
Helping Others Makes Us Happy
https://youtu.be/lUKhMUZnLuw?si=3VDYsxqF8VnzIt1J
Elizabeth Dunn, researcher on happiness, tells us specific ways of giving elicit more of a joyful reaction for the giver. Dunn talks about needing to connect to the process of giving, being able to see how our giving makes a difference. For example, rather than writing a check to a charitable organization, give to a specific family in need. Human beings function best when they are a part of social bonds, creating a sense of community. Overall, Dunn teaches us that while we are conditioned to believe that happiness is something we pursue individually, a greater sense of meaning and generosity are the true triggers of a joyful sense of being.
Where to see your dollars make a difference
DonorsChoose DonorsChoose is a charitable organization led by teachers who represent low-income school systems, both in your local community and across the country. Teachers post their classroom needs and share impactful stories. These requests can range from funding a science lab to providing food for students facing food insecurity at home. Donors can directly support these initiatives, helping bridge gaps in educational resources and improve students’ lives. Every contribution, no matter how small, makes a meaningful difference in the future of children who need it most. Through DonorsChoose, educators have a platform to advocate for their students’ success and well-being.
Looking to support an environmental cause? The Arbor Day Foundation allows contributors to plant a tree, or even an entire forest. The foundation’s mission is beauty and connection to nature, as well as, of course, combating climate change and preserving natural land. The charity also values more than just a one time give, and they run various high-participation fundraisers in order to plant more trees. During these fundraisers, you’ll see your donations matched by private organizations and see where your donation is impacting change through tree growth.
Heifer International is a trusted charitable foundation that receives a 4 star rating on
Please note: I’ve done some extra research before posting this blog. All foundations listed exceed industry standards for giving on portals like Charity Navigator, meaning they can be trusted to use your dollars in alignment with their mission statements.
Where to see your time make a difference
Synesthesia, a phenomenon I find particularly interesting, is actually much more common than the preceding ailments. I’ve actually met a couple folks who’ve experienced synesthesia. This phenomenon occurs when senses cross, mixing a very common sensory input with a less common secondary effect. Synesthesia is not a medical condition and, in fact, can be a positive experience for those who experience it. Individuals with synesthesia sometimes have better capacity for memory and a vast threshold for creativity. Some examples of synesthesia include sound-color synesthesia (colors are associated with a specific sound, often musical), hearing-motion synesthesia (a sound is associated with movement, like a whoosh sound when someone walks by), and time-space synesthesia (an example is a person being able to map out an entire annual calendar in a vivid way).
The Halo Effect
The halo effect is one of many cognitive biases. It explains why attractive people are at an advantage in areas of life that shouldn’t be appraised based on appearance, like job interviews. The halo effect occurs when an initial judgement about a person colors the perceiver’s judgement of the person as a whole. The halo effect is behind the proverbial phrase: “first impression is everything.” The less well known opposite of the halo effect, is called the horn effect, in which a negative attribute demonizes a whole person.
Dunning-Kruger Effect
The Dunning-Kruger effect, named after the two researchers who coined it, is another cognitive bias I find fascinating. The Dunning-Kruger effect occurs when people believe themselves to be more intelligent or capable than they really are. Folks who experience this do not have the skill set, intellectually or in terms of self awareness, to recognize their limitations. An example of this cognitive bias that is all too common occurs when people on social media with little political knowledge spout off about their ‘expertise’ on complex political ideologies.
Hallucinations
What makes hallucinations most fascinating, is their prevalance. While modern society often associates hallucinations with major psychosis, often drug induced, at least 1 in 10 people experience some sort of hallucination in their lifetime, with slight visual hallucinations even more common than the former statistics. Negative hallucinations (i.e. hearing suicidal voices) are common for those who experience clinical depression, delirium tremor from fever, as well as hormonal changes (i.e. postpartum) are some examples. Treatment is possible and can include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS).
Fregoli syndrome
One of the more frightening phenomena on this list, individuals who experience the Fregoli delusion, believe that a familiar person keeps following them, but in disguise. The afflicted individual believes the individual, taking on different forms, is following them to persecute them in some way. Fregoli syndrome is named after Italian actor, Leopoldo Fregoli, who was known for switching roles and impersonations on stage at a rapid pace.
Autocannibalism
It is what it sounds like, people. Autocannibalism, a disorder in the DSM-5, is the practice of eating one’s own flesh. Autocannibalism is a form of self harm, but in the past has been used as a form of body modification by choice, as well as punishment, like forcing punished servants to eat parts of their body. To your surprise though, if you’ve ever bitten your nails or cuticles, you are also taking part in autocannibalic behavior.
Aboulomania
Aboulomania is pathological indecisiveness, the inability to make decisions in day-to-day life. While many people I work with struggle with decision making, those with aboulomania are truly restricted from living their lives by being paralyzed by decisions as small as whether or not to have dessert. Research has shown that aboulomania is often a comorbidity to mental illnesses like PTSD. From a behavioral perspective, aboulomania can occur in children with extremely overprotective parents, which leads to unhealthy dependency and self doubt.
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