Couples Counseling
Relationships can be one of the most meaningful parts of our lives—but they can also become one of the most stressful when communication breaks down or connection starts to fade.
Couples counseling offers a space where you and your partner can slow down, understand what’s happening in your relationship, and learn new ways to reconnect.
In therapy, my role isn’t to decide who’s right or wrong. Instead, I help couples understand the patterns they’re stuck in and develop healthier ways to communicate, repair conflict, and rebuild emotional closeness.
When Should You Start Couples Counseling?
Many people assume couples therapy is only for relationships in crisis, but that’s not always the case.
In fact, many couples benefit most from counseling before problems become deeply entrenched.
You might consider starting couples counseling if you notice:
The same arguments happening over and over.
Communication feeling tense, defensive, or shut down.
Feeling emotionally distant from your partner.
Difficulty rebuilding trust after a hurt or betrayal.
Stress around parenting, finances, or major life changes.
Feeling more like roommates than partners.
Strengthening your relationship before problems grow.
Starting therapy earlier can help couples prevent deeper resentment and build a stronger, more resilient relationship.
My Approach to Couples Therapy
My work with couples combines several evidence-based approaches that focus on both emotional understanding and real-life change.
I integrate the Gottman Method, attachment-based therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Polyvagal-informed therapy, and elements of Internal Family Systems (IFS). Together, these approaches help couples understand each other more deeply, improve communication, and move toward the kind of relationship they truly want to build.
Couples often tell me they appreciate that our work is both practical and emotionally honest—not just talking about problems, but actually learning tools to change them.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy
A core part of my marriage counseling approach is the Gottman Method, one of the most researched and respected models of relationship therapy.
The Gottman Method is based on more than 40 years of research studying what makes relationships succeed or fail. It focuses on helping couples strengthen their friendship, manage conflict more effectively, and create shared meaning in their relationship.
Through extensive research, Drs. John and Julie Gottman found that 69% of marital problems are redundant.
Utilizing the Gottman Method, couples complete longer assessments in order to make the best use of a research-based framework called the Sound Relationship House, a framework designed to manage conflict and make relationships stronger.
Gottman work reports that as long as the ratio of positivity to negativity during conflict is 5 to 1, all relationships are stable. Our work moves towards this.
Dr. John Gottman (left) and Dr. Julie Gottman (right)
Attachment based therapy in Relationships
When partners feel emotionally safe and understood, relationships tend to thrive. But when that sense of safety feels threatened, the nervous system can quickly shift into protective responses. In many relationships, these patterns are connected to insecure attachment styles – anxious, avoidant or disorganized patterns.
In therapy we explore these patterns so that both partners can better understand each other’s emotional needs and responses. When couples begin to recognize the attachment dynamics driving conflict, the conversation often shifts from blame and frustration toward curiousity.
My attachment work with couples is also informed by the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT) developed by Stan Tatkin. PACT combines insights from attachment science, neuroscience, and nervous system regulation to help couples create relationships that feel safe, stable, and supportive.
Nervous System & Polyvagal-Informed Therapy
While I utilize PACT, the bulk of nervous system work with couples is informed by Polyvagal Theory.
In therapy sessions focused on nervous system regulation, we work on recognizing when the nervous system is being activated during conflict.
We then learn ways to regulate stress and overwhelm. Through therapy, my job is to help partners co-regulate and support each other in difficult moments.
The goal- creating a greater sense of safety and connection in a relationship.
Working with “Parts” in Relationships (IFS-Informed Therapy)
I also incorporate elements of Internal Family Systems (IFS) in my work with couples.
IFS is based on the idea that we all have different “parts” of ourselves—such as protective parts that become defensive during conflict, or vulnerable parts that feel hurt, rejected, or misunderstood.
In relationships, these parts can become activated quickly, which is why arguments sometimes escalate even when both partners want the relationship to work.
Parts work helps understand deep feelings underneath conflict, respond with curiosity instead of blame, ultimately seeking support from one another in more effective ways.
Values-Based Relationship Work (ACT)
Lastly, all my work leans on ACT, as well as how I try to live my life, personally. Whether an individual or couple, all my work is, to some degree, guided by Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
ACT helps couples skill build towards psychological flexibility, the ability to be present, no matter what thoughts and areas of discomfort come up.
With couples, I practice taking them through the core components- acceptance, defusion, present moment awareness, and the observing self. Each component has a specific exercise.
We then define values as a couple and then focus on committed action, doing what it takes to make sure your behavior aligns with your values.
Instead of staying stuck in cycles of avoidance, ACT helps couples take meaningful steps toward the kind of relationship they truly want to build.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
Marriage Counseling Near Me
If you’re searching for marriage counseling near Portland, ME, you’re likely looking for a therapist who can help you and your partner communicate well. While based out of Portland, ME, I also provide relationship counseling to many couples across ME, MA, NH, and FL.
At The Rising Sun Counseling, I provide couples counseling and marriage therapy for partners who want to strengthen their relationship, work through difficult challenges, or reconnect after feeling distant from each other.
Sessions occur virtually. While I am local to greater Portland, ME, I support clients across the state of Maine, as well as Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Florida.
Using approaches such as the Gottman Method, attachment-based therapy, Polyvagal-informed therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and IFS-informed work, I help couples understand the deeper dynamics in their relationship and move toward meaningful change.
Whether you’re navigating communication challenges, recovering from infidelity, adjusting to parenting stress- couples therapy can help you rebuild understanding and move forward together as a completely evolved couple.
Start Couples Therapy
If you’re looking for couples counseling that focuses on deep understanding of one another, practical tools on avoiding the same fight again and again, and meaningful change, I’d be glad to talk with you.
Whether you’re navigating a difficult moment in your relationship or simply want to strengthen your connection, therapy with me at The Rising Sun Counseling can help you and your partner move forward together.
- Licensed Clinical Social Worker
- Licensed Alcohol Drug Counselor
- Clinical Certified Supervisor
- Trained & Certified In Multiple Forms Of Therapy
