“Do you think I’m ready to be done?” “How long should I be in therapy?” “How many weeks will we do together before I’m ready to move to biweekly therapy?” These are questions I get from clients from time to time. The answer? Deeply variable, a dialogue between clinician and client, but still led by you!
Personally, as a recipient of therapy, I usually have a gut instinct when I’m ready to be done. It doesn’t always include a problem resolution, but more of a sense of independence or noticing that life has gotten busier and my anxiety is well managed. The next time I’m ready for therapy usually is prompted by a major life transition. In my experience, the benefits of an unbiased professional is almost always helpful. Here are some more specific ways you can measure your readiness:
1. Trust yourself
I’ll start with the most important indicator of being ready to be done with therapy! When you aren’t in a therapy session, reflect on how you’re doing, perhaps through journaling. Let your thoughts free flow, read them back to yourself and lean into feeling whether you are telling yourself the truth, deep in your gut.
Acknowledge that while you aren’t fixed (you are not broken), you feel confident standing on your own two feet and, when shaky, can always return to therapy. Appreciate and honor how far you’ve come. If you feel apprehensive or your people pleasing mechanism is triggered around telling your therapist, practice with a friend. But, trust me, I and most other therapists will always celebrate your journey and not take your departure personally.
2. Evaulate your resources
Therapy is expensive! Perhaps the year or two you’ve spent in therapy is no longer financially sustainable. That’s ok. I’ve seen a few folks over the years that end up more stressed about how to afford therapy than I’d ever want from them. If you are financially strapped, but still feel like you need clinical support, ask your clinician if they can support you in finding a low cost intern. What interns lack in experience, they often make up for in enthusiasm.
Therapy is time consuming. While this consideration has been mitigated greatly through telehealth (no driving to an office), life is busy. A common time when people transition out of therapy is a couple months into the birth of a new child. While this life transition often leaves new parents feeling fragile in the beginning, with some reassurance and experience, they are ready to go be with their family. While I have a pretty set standard to what my schedule will allow, I’m also always open to negotiating that to meet your needs.
3. Reduced frequency of sessions
If you find that you’re attending sessions less frequently or feeling less urgency to talk about issues that used to be prominent, you may be ready to end therapy. If you notice you’re comfortable managing your thoughts and feelings without as much support, it’s likely time to pause. Often, I find that people are very nervous to end therapy. This is normal. You’ve developed an incredibly powerful relationship and shared some of your deepest insecurities with someone who was once a stranger. Still, moving forward is important for a reminder that you’ve aquired skills, you have your own back.
4. You've met your goals
You established clear goals and objectives at the beginning of your therapy journey, whether they pertain to personal growth, coping strategies, or relationship dynamics. If you find that you’ve made significant progress toward achieving those goals, it can be a strong indicator that you are ready to conclude your sessions. Reflecting on the growth and changes you’ve experienced throughout your time in therapy is crucial. Take the time to acknowledge how far you’ve come—consider the challenges you’ve overcome, the skills you’ve developed, and the insights you’ve gained about yourself and your circumstances. You are at a a point where you can apply what you’ve learned in therapy to your daily life independently. It’s essential to recognize that this journey is about your growth and empowerment, and feeling confident in your progress can signal that you’re ready to take the next step outside of the therapeutic setting.
5. Strong therapeutic relationship with your therapist
If you’ve developed a strong therapeutic relationship with your therapist, you’ve learned many skills. You can practice skills that therapy can foster: trust, openness, and effective communication, outside of this relationship. The connection you have with your therapist is meant to serve as a model for outside relationships.
When you feel comfortable engaing in tough discussions, it shows that you have a healthy dynamic with your therapist. For example, if after a conversation about ending therapy, your therapist agrees that you are ready to move on, it can provide you with valuable reassurance. Your therapist’s professional insight can help confirm that you are making a well-considered and healthy choice for your personal growth. This collaborative approach not only underscores the strength of your therapeutic relationship but also ensures that you feel supported as you transition out of therapy.