Blogging about the helper’s high and risking sounding like a pretensious, “look at me” person, much less clincian, took some thinking. After a super mini teeny ego crisis, authenticity always wins in my book so here, we are.
Like so many clients I’ve spoken to, early in my childhood my family was low income and while this changed for me, it helped foster some sort of accurate worldview between the haves and have nots. My daughter will not have this lived experience. Because her grandmother worked so hard to lift our family into a higher income bracket, and her mother (moi) so hard after plus opportunity, etc etc, my daughter won’t know poverty as long as I can help it.
How do I teach her? I know this is another super common ethical struggle. I know there’s never a right answer, nor a guarantee. I super strongly believe that so much of this answer is in day-to-day pockets of respect for all our community members. However, traditions are meaningful and impactful on children’s development, so I’ve decided that we will pick two organizations yearly and give. This year, Aya and I will give to the Preble Street Teen Shelter (donate to Preble Street here) and Gosnell Memorial Hospice House (donate to local hospice here or become a hospice volunteer here).
Helping Others Makes Us Happy
https://youtu.be/lUKhMUZnLuw?si=3VDYsxqF8VnzIt1J
Elizabeth Dunn, researcher on happiness, tells us specific ways of giving elicit more of a joyful reaction for the giver. Dunn talks about needing to connect to the process of giving, being able to see how our giving makes a difference. For example, rather than writing a check to a charitable organization, give to a specific family in need. Human beings function best when they are a part of social bonds, creating a sense of community. Overall, Dunn teaches us that while we are conditioned to believe that happiness is something we pursue individually, a greater sense of meaning and generosity are the true triggers of a joyful sense of being.
Where to see your dollars make a difference
If you are in a fortunate place to give money, these organizations show you how your money makes a difference and/or allow you choice and connection with your giving.
Where to see your time make a difference
Synesthesia, a phenomenon I find particularly interesting, is actually much more common than the preceding ailments. I’ve actually met a couple folks who’ve experienced synesthesia. This phenomenon occurs when senses cross, mixing a very common sensory input with a less common secondary effect. Synesthesia is not a medical condition and, in fact, can be a positive experience for those who experience it. Individuals with synesthesia sometimes have better capacity for memory and a vast threshold for creativity. Some examples of synesthesia include sound-color synesthesia (colors are associated with a specific sound, often musical), hearing-motion synesthesia (a sound is associated with movement, like a whoosh sound when someone walks by), and time-space synesthesia (an example is a person being able to map out an entire annual calendar in a vivid way).