Learning to name and pay attention to your emotions can help you identify what needs healing.
First, use a journal, notebook, or smartphone notes to write down which of the feelings below you experienced. On the margin, note if they changed, at what pace, and how obvious they were.
If your feelings come from the Satisfied Needs list, great. Note this. If your feelings come from the Unsatisfied Needs list, move forth to the needs inventory below. Note that any displeasing feelings can be understood through the lens of needs not being satisfied. Granted, the goal of therapy is never to avoid or fix all of these, but buying into this reframe (hurt = unsatisfied need), is soothing for many.
Feelings Associated with Satisfied Needs
- Affectionate
- Compassionate
- Friendly
- Loving
- Open-Hearted
- Engaged
- Absorbed
- Alert
- Engrossed
- Enchanted
- Hopeful
- Optimistic
- Encouraged
- Confident
- Empowered
- Open
- Proud
- Secure
- Excited
- Amazed
- Astonished
- Giddy
- Grateful
- Appreciative
- Thankful
- Touched
- Inspired
- Amazed
- Wonder
- Joyful
- Amused
- Happy
- Exhilarated
- Blissful
- Thrilled
- Peaceful
- Calm
- Satisfied
- Still
- Refreshed
- Restored
- Revived
Feelings Associated with Unsatisfied Needs
- Afraid
- Apprehensive
- Mistrustful
- Panicked
- Petrified
- Annoyed
- Aggravated
- Displeased
- Impatient
- Angry
- Furious
- Outraged
- Confused
- Hesitant
- Lost
- Ambivalent
- Discontented
- Distracted
- Numb
- Disquiet
- Agitated
- Alarmed
- Embarrassed
- Ashamed
- Fatigued
- Exhausted
- Depleted
- Lethargic
- Pain
- Agony
- Lonely
- Miserable
- Sad
- Disappointed
- Discouraged
- Hopeless
- Gloomy
- Tense
- Anxious
- Jittery
- Nervous
- Vulnerable
- Insecure
- Shaky
- Reserved
- Yearning
- Jealous
- Wistful
- Needs Inventory
- Connection
- Acceptance
- Affection
- Appreciation
- Belonging
- Cooperation
- Communication
- Intimacy
- Love
- Safety
- Security
- To know and to be known
To understand and to be understood
- Trust
- Worth
- Physical Well being
- Air
- Food
- Movement
- Rest/Sleep
- Sexual expression
- Touch
- Honesty
- Authenticity
- Integrity
- Presence
- Play
- Joy
- Humor
- Peace
- Beauty
- Communion
- Ease
- Harmony
- Inspiration
- Order
- Autonomy
- Choice
- Freedom
- Independence
- Spontaneity
- Meaning
- Awareness
- Celebration of Life
- Challenge
- Clarity
- Competence
- Creativity
- Discovery
- Growth
- Learning
- Self-expression
- Stimulation
- Understanding
Inventories borrowed from The Center for Nonviolent Communication.